Supporting children's rights in 2025
This is what protecting children really looks like.
(this post is long, it may not fit in your email - click on the link and read it online)
Ready for a 2025 where we finally begin to place children and young people at the centre of our decisions, especially when those decisions actively affect them?
Children’s rights is one of the focuses of my graduate research (I’m going to be looking at the way children understand and enact their rights in an education setting) and also something we actively centre in our home.
The following is a list, which is in no way a definitive one but merely a starting point for 2025 to be the year we change our relationship with children, as well as their material conditions in society at large.
Heads’ up, I’ve extended my 30% discount on paid subscriptions until January 3rd (my birthday!). I’m always up for bartering/gifting subscriptions so do reach out if this is you.
At home
Work with, not against, your child. This sounds so simple in theory, right? But actually we often don’t realise that we position ourselves in opposition to our children, rather than in solidarity with them. If you are starting on this journey of partnering with your child, then I’d highly recommend a few resources:
Untigering by Iris Chen - Iris’ book is wonderful and appropriate for parents of children of all ages, and her social media and blog content is also super thought-provoking.
It’s not Fair by Eloise Rickman
Raising Free People by Akilah S. Richards and also check out the Fare of the Free Child podcast (this is the Youtube link but you can find it wherever you get podcasts.)
ASDE always has great resources about living in partnership with young people.
If you want to know more about the UN Convention for the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), this booklet summarises some of the key articles.
A few years ago I printed out a graphic summary of the UNCRC for my children - they loved that they could look up and read their rights! And we could also discuss the ways in which the UNCRC is less than a perfect document. I’m linking a couple different posters you can print out: this one is very colourful and clear (make sure you make the format a little larger, when I printed it out as 2 A4 sheets it was hard to read!), and this is the UN version for children.
“Allow” as much autonomy as you can deal with. Children should have a say in all decisions that regard them. This could go from decisions around their bodies (what to wear, when to rest, what to eat), to decisions around how to spend their time, to decisions around what makes an education, to decisions around opinions, thoughts and beliefs. What this doesn’t mean, to me, is that life becomes an unanchored free for all - we are all, as humans, located in an environment and that environment keeps us grounded. There is no such thing, really, as totally free or uninfluenced decisions - and that’s okay. We are not supposed to be floating in a vacuum, but rooted in a ‘community of practice.’ So when I speak about autonomy I always see it as located within the specific context we inhabit. Yes, young people should get to make more decisions, but not without the support and input of others they live with and around.
Listen to them in the same way you’d listen to a trusted adult. This one comes from my 13 year old, and when I asked my 10 year old separately, he said the same thing. I asked her what parents and carers could do at home, to honour children’s rights, and this was her answer: truly, actually listening to children’s thoughts, opinions, feelings and generally what they have to say on any and all topics, and treating their words with the same gravity and value we attach to the words of adults. Even if we disagree. Even if we think we know better.
Centre consent and noncoercion in your home. Okay OBVIOUSLY I’m going to say that! You can read my book about that, on here, for free.
Provide some financial (or other form of) of power redistribution. Some of the reason why structural adultism is so deeply embedded is because children’s actual material conditions have not fundmentally changed. Children are still dependent on adults in all sorts of ways, which means that the power imbalance between parents and children is often very skewed in favour of parents. Part of this imbalance is financial - we control the purse strings! And while I wish we didn’t live in a society where money was so important, we do. I’m not advocating for children moving out and getting jobs, of course! Children have a right to care and protection, too. But I do think we can involve them in some of our big decisions, especially financial ones (which they often get left out of). For those of us who can, giving them some regular spending money would go a ways to chipping away at the financial power we hold over them. And if financial power is not something you’re okay with, then redistributing power and hierarchy in other ways might work well for you. What are some ways you’ve redistributed power in your home?
In school (if your children go/you work at one).
Stop being an enabler of school. So often, we find ourselves roped into essentially doing school’s bidding. Parents are recruited to help the school to get children to do what they need/want them to do. This can be super toxic, because our children need to have us on their side. As adults, we have a tendency to align ourselves with other adults, against our own children (I’ve done this too, I know how easy it is to not even notice!). One of the most radical things you can do as a school-going family, is be on your child’s side and push back on the way school uses parents to manipulate and coerce children to do its bidding.
Write to your legislators about gun violence. Voice your concerns, call for more regulation, and support organisations that do this work, such as Moms Demand Action.
Push back on the school to prison pipeline that affects marginalised, especially Black, kids. Educate yourself on abolition and support abolitionist writing by parents for parents. Learn about youth abolitionists (this book is on my list!). This isn’t really an issue in my current community, but I’m still educating myself on how grassroots organisations have pushed to remove zero-tolerance policies from schools, and other ways we can get involved. This book is also on my list - and looks like it might have some really good information and resources.
Support free school lunches. Volunteer for your local food pantry, or give to them if you can, and support other initiatives that help your local children stay fed both at school and at home. If you’re in a district that doesn’t offer free school lunches, you can campaign for it.
Advocate for disabled and neurodivergent children. Part of the reason why I worry about the increased support for “school choice,” is that in many countries and states, when we allocate public funding to non-public schools, it doesn’t also come with the same degree of oversight and strings attached. In practice, that can mean that a private or charter school receiving public funds might not be accountable to the state or government around what disabled or neurodivergent students receive as accommodations and support, and that parents won’t have a legal claim to push the school to support their child. I’m planning a longer piece on school choice so I won’t fully get into it here, but basically while in principle it sounds promising for alternative education, in practice it might mean that disabled and neurodivergent kids end up with less choice and less resources to accommodate their learning, and no legal basis to protect their children’s rights. Advocating to have your child’s needs met in school is part of putting pressure on both private and public schools to recognise and accommodate ND or disabled children. Pushing back on school choice might be another way.
Push for an increase in democratic engagement for young people. If your child goes to school, or you work in a school, consider talking to educators and other parents about ways children can take ownership of their days in school. UNICEF has a program that accredits “Rights-Respecting Schools” - you can find out more here. Consider learning more about sociocratic decision making. I took a course offered by Wondering Schools, and I really enjoyed this documentary about sociocracy in schools. There is no reason why school has to remain one of the most hierarchical institutions.
Decenter schooling. This is something Nikolai Pizarro talks about often, and in brief it basically means viewing school as simply one aspect of our child’s life, and secondary to their worthiness as a person, to their relationships, their interests, their role in the wider community.
As a homeschooler/unschooler
Join or start a community. Building community is where it’s at, in my opinion! Go support your local homeschool co-op, self-directed space, or whatever you have available. We no longer have a co-op, and my children are in a different stage of life, but I made a video about our previous homeschool co-op you can watch here (heads’ up, it’s paywalled.) I’ve been working on joining and starting small groups in my area, and slowly growing them, as a way to build solidarity with others and collectively care for our children. My children also attend both an online and an offline SDE space, and it makes all the difference!
Support your child to make decisions around their education. Regardless of how you home educate, there is always space to give our child a bit more autonomy over their life and learning. Honestly, not all kids want full autonomy. Some need a lot of structure and support, some are perfectly happy doing it the way you’ve been doing it - and some could absolutely do with more freedom and self-direction. Respecting our child’s rights does not always look like more freedom - sometimes it does in fact look like more support, more guidance, perhaps more structure. For me, as long as it feels consensual and noncoercive, then it’s also respectful of their personhood and rights.
Recognise that “school choice” is a double-edged sword. As homeschoolers, we might actually benefit from an increase in school choice. I get that. And, I have huge reservations about this (see above!) and I would caution us all to think not only about our own, potentially relatively privileged children, but also of all children in general and the way that our potential championing of school choice might impact children from families who perhaps don’t have the same resources as we do.
Re-define the idea of success. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like this is perhaps one of the most crucial ways we can have a direct impact on our children’s view of the world and their role in it. Dismantling capitalistic and colonial ideas of what success looks like, and bringing a different narrative that perhaps is co-created within your family, can feel like hard work and really counter-cultural at time - but I think it’s worth it.
Support queer children. Find out if your local schools or governments are passing anti-LGBTQ+ rules or legislation, and write to your representatives or turn up at school board meetings. If you’re in the US, you can go to MAP’s website to track the state of current legislation in your area, and the ACLU has a map where you can see current proposed legislation in your state.
Support your local library and read banned books. You can find book bans by state on the PEN website. Some things we have done is purchase banned books or borrowed them from our library - if your library doesn’t stock them, you can ask them to! You can also support your library by borrowing, giving time or money, and getting to know your librarians. Talk to them about the books you value and why they matter!
Call out members of the homeschool community that are actively or indirectly supporting the harm of children. I know this is hard. We’re supposed to be a community, after all. But I will put the wellbeing of children above homeschooling or unschooling, every single time. In the past I’ve spoken a bit about the problematic aspects of some corners of the homeschool community, from tradwives to 1000 hours outside. I recognise we don’t all have the willingness or capacity to pick these things apart, but I do think we need to take a long hard look at the people we are supporting, and the policies they are either overtly or covertly lending their voices (and more) to. Often these come in the form of “protecting children” when they are nothing but exclusionary and harmful ideologies, that will ultimately hurt more children than they actually protect. In fact, “protect” and “save” children are kind of right-wing dogwhistles - they often (not always, but often) are words used to cloak measures that control, exclude or oppress.
In society
Call out systemic adultism. Just pointing this out when you see it, is part of making society fairer for children. Things like signs prohibiting children from entering public spaces or playing in public spaces, or counters in shops that they can’t reach, or public spaces that are set up only for adults and actively exclude young humans. Call out bad behaviour such as adults speaking down to children or discriminating against them. Learn to pick out adultism and point it out to your children when you see it - I promise you, soon enough they’ll be seeing it everywhere. If you’re not sure you understand adultism, or need a review, this post by the National Youth Rights Association defines it and gives concrete examples.
Push for a Universal Basic Income. In 2023, 16% of children (adults under 18) were living in poverty. In some states, this was 20% or more. While I recognise that the idea of a Universal Basic Income is radical for some, actually it makes complete sense. When we are well-resourced, we can do better on all fronts. It is a child’s right to grow up safe from hunger and poverty, and this is one way to do it. Get involved with a local political party or group that’s campaigning for a UBI, or write to your representatives!
Votes for Children. I’m not going to launch into my reasoning for supporting this, but if you’re on the fence go listen to me talk to John Wall about this issue, or read his book Give Children the Vote - you can read an excerpt here. This too, would be part of changing the material conditions children exist in, and giving them an actual voice and a degree of power in society. It could, potentially, be revolutionary.
Support affordable healthcare. Healthcare is a human right. That’s it! Children need it, and it needs to be affordable if not free.
And beyond
Speak out against war. 2024 has been one of the worst years on record for children in conflict zones, according to UNICEF. 1 out of every 6 children currently live in a war zone - an absolutely chilling statistic. So perhaps if there is one thing we should be doing, it is doing our best to stop funding wars around the world. There are SO many resources on where to begin with this - things that I do regularly is write to my reps, sign petitions, give money when I can, and join weekly protests. I’m part of Maine Voices for Palestinian Rights and I do what I can there too. We all have a place, and we don’t all have to do everything (just something)! If you feel like it, share what you’re part of or hoping to do in 2025.
Join a climate group, cut your meat consumption, stop overconsuming and start preparing. The future is our children’s future, and one of the biggest things we can do is fight for a sustainable future. If you are in the UK, Parents for future is a great organisation to join, and I believe they have worldwide chapters too.
The kids and I made a poster of actions we will do our best to support this year, I’m sharing it below in case that helps! I believe I got some/most of these from Raeeka’s content on social media, and also Common Earth really helpful slides.
Disclaimer: WE ARE NOT DOING ALL THESE THINGS. Yet. Some of us are more invested in some things, than others. We are not aiming for perfection, and we are leaning into slow and steady rather than completely overhauling our lives. Also, these are mostly for me and my husband - I don’t pressure my kids because frankly, we the adults made this mess and we should be leading us out of it. But this graphic serves to remind us all we have a collective responsibility to do what we can.
If you got to the end of this post, I want you to know that it’s okay to just pick ONE THING and do your best with it. I have periods where I’m doing lots because I have space and time and resources, and then I go through weeks when I’m doing very little. That is okay.
One thing is good enough. One thing that isn’t even on this list, is good enough.
I love you all and I am on your side - we can do this, together.
Job one: protect our youth from having their hearts ripped open by encountering internet pornography before they’ve been on a date!