“What do I tell my boys?”

Thoughts of a Palestinian Mother by Dana Huraimi.

Today I am sharing a post written by my friend and fellow unschooling mother,

Dana Huraimi

(find a bio at the bottom of the post).

Please take some time to read the whole thing.

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October 23^rd 2023

As a Palestinian mother watching the destruction, oppression and the killing of thousands of innocent civilians in Gaza and Palestine over the past few weeks, I find myself baffled by the dehumanization and lack of support and empathy the international community has for the Palestinian people. But can I blame them? For decades our history has been erased from mainstream media, our people have been portrayed as barbaric animals who use their children as human shields and our voices have been silenced. So how would the western communities know the truth about what is happening in Gaza and the West Bank?

I find myself navigating the magnitude of what is going on across more than one front. My western friends reach out, curious to learn more about the history of the region, wondering why their governments support the killing and massacring of innocent men, women and children who are already living in horrific conditions due to occupation. I really appreciate those who have stepped out of their comfort zone to do that. It’s what we all need to do when something just doesn’t add up: Get curious, ask questions, find credible sources and then speak up.

I am an unschooling mother to two beautiful boys and curiosity is at the core of everything we do. We unschoolers refuse to be ‘fed’ information, we teach our children to dig deeper and find their own truth. We instill in them the right to push back, challenge the narrative, look at all the facts and then make a decision. Can we do that as mothers? Dig deeper? Ask ourselves why is Israel killing so many civilians? Why is Gaza under siege? What is the West Bank? Why was Hamas formed in the first place? What happened before the 7^th of October? Why is the media refusing to show both sides equally? 

As Palestinians, my family and I must deal with the pain of watching our people being brutally killed, slaughtered and bombed, while also coming to the reality that we seem to mean nothing to the world. Our lives are worth nothing. How do I explain that to my boys?

How do I tell them that the world sees them as less deserving? That in the words of world leaders on global platforms we are viewed as “savages and animals” who don’t deserve to live? That our people are being slaughtered in the thousands, half of whom are children like my boys, and no one is doing anything to stop it. How do I make sure they grow up to be articulate debaters loaded with facts, stories and history about their country to counter the hatred, grudges and resentment of the world? How do I ensure that they don’t view themselves as less-than when most of the world is telling them what applies to kids in the west, white kids in particular, does not apply to them? It’s something every Palestinian, every brown, Black, oppressed mother asks herself at some point and must deal with. I ask every parent to please stop and process that for a moment.

As a mother witnessing these dark times humanity is going through, I ponder a lot on the privilege of being a mother. On the phenomena of motherhood, this radical change we women go through. Everything we thought we knew: our perspective, our values, our desires and mostly our empathy, it all changes when you become a mother. Motherhood is the pain that floods our chest when our child is unwell, sad or struggling, it is also the joy that fills our heart when our child smiles or looks at us.

Motherhood also comes with a sixth sense and deep emotions. A sense that allows us to know when something is not right and intense emotions that enable us to feel every child around us not just our own. “That’s someone’s child” is what we tell ourselves when something bad happens to another child. We feel the pain of other mothers deeply. We constantly think of the other mother and what she is going through. How wonderful is motherhood and the level of empathy that comes with it?

This really makes me wonder as a Palestinian mother, why are we not receiving the same extent of compassion from international communities that others do? Why are our babies having to wake up as orphans to a world that dehumanizes them and tells them that the only way this horrible nightmare, they are living can be resolved is for them to remain in cages or for them and their loved ones to die? Is this not an issue that all of us mothers can stand against and condemn?

As a Palestinian mother, I ask myself, what can we as mothers do about it?   

Motherhood to me is the responsibility of raising a human being that can grow up in this world with the intent to make it a better and more just place. As I raise my children to be their own wonderful selves, I also know that they have a duty to speak up when something is not right. Being an unschooling mom for the past four years I’ve heard the phrase “Parenting is political” when referring to our children’s education, choices and the right to be treated as equal humans. We speak of child liberation yet when it comes to the unjust killing of thousands of children who have done nothing wrong but to be born in the confined strip of Gaza, it stops being political and suddenly becomes this foreign issue that is much bigger than us, too complicated or not really relevant. But it’s all related. We are all connected. When we learn to stand up for one, we are empowered to do so for all.

Motherhood is political. There has never been a time where motherhood needs to be more political than today.

Just like we talk about education being political we also need to recognize that raising the next generation is also political. The choices we make as a family, what we stand for and what we stand against, are political. There is no neutral stand in what is happening in Gaza, it’s not a religious conflict - it’s an occupation, it’s not self-defense - it’s a genocide against the indigenous people of the land of Palestine.

We need to start calling it out for what it really is.

We need to speak up! It’s our duty as mothers. If we falter or feel fear, we can refuel by remembering: “That’s someone’s child”.

Please speak up. Get political in what matters. Save Gaza.

Dana is a Palestinian unschooling mother living in Dubai with her husband and two boys. She was born and raised in Kuwait and moved to Jordan with her family during the Gulf war. Dana’s father and grand parents were born in Bethlehem, Palestine, yet she is not allowed to visit her homeland unless granted a visit visa from Israel. She was able to visit twice.
Like many Palestinians living in exile, Dana continues to raise awareness on the situation in Palestine and what the Palestinian people have to endure living under Israeli occupation.

To connect with Dana:
instagram: @it.started.with.a.fish

Some ways you can help:

Call and write to your representatives in government. Daily. Use the 5 calls app, or find your representatives here. Demand a ceasefire and immediate humanitarian aid. Demand that the US stop funding and assisting Israel in genocide.

Donate to the PCRF to help save the children of Gaza.

To know more about what is happening in Gaza and Palestine follow:

Jewish Voice for Peace: @Jewishvoiceforpeace
Democracy Now: @DemocracyNow
Ahmed Eldin: @ahmedeldin
Ayman Mohyeldin: @aymanm
The IMEU: @theimeu

Encourage your friends, family and community to do all of the above.

Join a protest if you can.