I found this to be very edifying of what our society/man-made systems teaches (for example patriarch and hierarchy) and what is actually community driven vs individual driven. ( frankly the individual driven society usually leads to narcissism) I am coming from a faith based perspective ( Biblical based). It seems like in the individual driven society and families it ends up being about someone needing credit for everything instead of we work together as a team and are all important parts of that team. I truly see the value in interdependence and community. We are working at balancing this out in our family. When other people's ambitions or pride become hurtful to others it is time to examine how it could be changed into team and community driven and benefit the unit as a whole with other people involved in mind. Again I truly appreciate your perspective and articulation on this. Thank you!
After many years of unschooling and trying to incorporate a team mentality, I started a whole-family sports camp to add an hour of movement to our day + experience group sports in a friendlier way. Week by week, we swing thru sports that need many players but little equipment (capture the flag, kickball, soccer, ultimate frisbee). It's low-stakes movement with all ages involved, and I'm obsessed with the outcome. The camaraderie can be heroic, as the teams are remixed week by week, and the level of intensity varies based on so many things, changing by the minute some days.
I mention this because it's gone the farthest to improve my kids' understanding of teamwork. It's always the parents who struggle to play games they know without the specific goal of winning. No trash talk. Cheering for both sides. The goal of the group is for everyone to be included, no matter their skill level, + for all to have fun. My kids have never been competitive people, and the energy of working together toward a common goal has really galvanized their understanding of teamwork.
This essay puts me in a very awkward position as a self-described individualist who passionately supports its unschooling and youth liberation agenda. It’s a little scary and a little sad that so many of my fellow libertarians would read the word “anti-individualist” and falsely assume that you favor authoritarian collectivism in the manner of Stalin or Mao. How many opportunities to build coalitions for political action are lost in such misunderstandings?
The misunderstandings go both ways. What I approvingly call “individualism” does not include the forced competition for good grades in a compulsion-based school. By definition—by my definition, anyway—its compulsory nature disrespects the individual. We in the libertarian community have our ways of reconciling individualism with a sense of humanity’s mutual interdependence, as in this two-minute video of Milton Friedman summarizing Leonard Read’s essay “I, Pencil”:
I am not trying to say that my definition of individualism is right and yours is wrong. Definitions are arbitrary agreements in a community of speakers. I’m just thinking out loud about youth liberators’ difficulties in finding each other on the Tower of Babel.
Hm yeah it is tricky because of course I’m absolutely not into authoritarianism, whether it’s coming from the political right or left. I guess I can’t relate to libertarianism because I’ve always assumed it is hyper individualistic and that doesn’t sit right with me. But I’ll give the YouTube video you shared a go! Frankly I don’t know a lot about libertarianism except for its unwillingness to put restraints/regulations on corporations which I think is a huge problem. But in terms of personal autonomy there is probably a lot of overlap with what I talk about - personhood, sovereignty and bodily autonomy, freedom from hierarchy and coercion, etc.
Another great one, Fran. So much to think about in terms of the school model and the mindset it influences. But you reminded me of something else too. This season with sports was great lesson for my kids in working together. Some days one kid had a rough time making plays or hitting, and they noticed when another teammate stepped up and helped carry the team. They saw how everyone takes turns in this way and supports each other, especially in the tougher moments, but also in celebrating another person you’re playing with. The team took losses without blaming one person, and they basked in wins together. They saw that you can’t be a superstar every time, every day, and you don’t have to be. P.S. sports are amazing when the adults involved aren’t ruining it for the kids😳
I found this to be very edifying of what our society/man-made systems teaches (for example patriarch and hierarchy) and what is actually community driven vs individual driven. ( frankly the individual driven society usually leads to narcissism) I am coming from a faith based perspective ( Biblical based). It seems like in the individual driven society and families it ends up being about someone needing credit for everything instead of we work together as a team and are all important parts of that team. I truly see the value in interdependence and community. We are working at balancing this out in our family. When other people's ambitions or pride become hurtful to others it is time to examine how it could be changed into team and community driven and benefit the unit as a whole with other people involved in mind. Again I truly appreciate your perspective and articulation on this. Thank you!
Thank you for reading Amber!!
After many years of unschooling and trying to incorporate a team mentality, I started a whole-family sports camp to add an hour of movement to our day + experience group sports in a friendlier way. Week by week, we swing thru sports that need many players but little equipment (capture the flag, kickball, soccer, ultimate frisbee). It's low-stakes movement with all ages involved, and I'm obsessed with the outcome. The camaraderie can be heroic, as the teams are remixed week by week, and the level of intensity varies based on so many things, changing by the minute some days.
I mention this because it's gone the farthest to improve my kids' understanding of teamwork. It's always the parents who struggle to play games they know without the specific goal of winning. No trash talk. Cheering for both sides. The goal of the group is for everyone to be included, no matter their skill level, + for all to have fun. My kids have never been competitive people, and the energy of working together toward a common goal has really galvanized their understanding of teamwork.
Oh this is the best!! Thank you for sharing this, what a wonderful idea.
This essay puts me in a very awkward position as a self-described individualist who passionately supports its unschooling and youth liberation agenda. It’s a little scary and a little sad that so many of my fellow libertarians would read the word “anti-individualist” and falsely assume that you favor authoritarian collectivism in the manner of Stalin or Mao. How many opportunities to build coalitions for political action are lost in such misunderstandings?
The misunderstandings go both ways. What I approvingly call “individualism” does not include the forced competition for good grades in a compulsion-based school. By definition—by my definition, anyway—its compulsory nature disrespects the individual. We in the libertarian community have our ways of reconciling individualism with a sense of humanity’s mutual interdependence, as in this two-minute video of Milton Friedman summarizing Leonard Read’s essay “I, Pencil”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67tHtpac5ws
I am not trying to say that my definition of individualism is right and yours is wrong. Definitions are arbitrary agreements in a community of speakers. I’m just thinking out loud about youth liberators’ difficulties in finding each other on the Tower of Babel.
Hm yeah it is tricky because of course I’m absolutely not into authoritarianism, whether it’s coming from the political right or left. I guess I can’t relate to libertarianism because I’ve always assumed it is hyper individualistic and that doesn’t sit right with me. But I’ll give the YouTube video you shared a go! Frankly I don’t know a lot about libertarianism except for its unwillingness to put restraints/regulations on corporations which I think is a huge problem. But in terms of personal autonomy there is probably a lot of overlap with what I talk about - personhood, sovereignty and bodily autonomy, freedom from hierarchy and coercion, etc.
Another great one, Fran. So much to think about in terms of the school model and the mindset it influences. But you reminded me of something else too. This season with sports was great lesson for my kids in working together. Some days one kid had a rough time making plays or hitting, and they noticed when another teammate stepped up and helped carry the team. They saw how everyone takes turns in this way and supports each other, especially in the tougher moments, but also in celebrating another person you’re playing with. The team took losses without blaming one person, and they basked in wins together. They saw that you can’t be a superstar every time, every day, and you don’t have to be. P.S. sports are amazing when the adults involved aren’t ruining it for the kids😳
Aw I love that!! Sports ARE amazing when adults don’t ruin them! It’s so lovely to see kids supporting each other on this way.