A lot of anarcho-capitalists are unschoolers, choosing peaceful parenting. They understand the word capitalist in it's historical sense, meaning the private ownership of means of production. In that sense it doesn't have this negative connotation of cronyism we understand nowadays.
In order to avoid the requirements of our local government for homeschoolers, we enroll in West River Academy (google if you might benefit from this as well) so that our kids are technically in a “private international online school”.
But as far as living life as though school doesn’t exist, for our family, the hardest part is a two-pronged issue with the calendar. First, many of our friends and loved ones are operating on a school schedule and thus we must plan our interactions with them around it. Second, our desires to participate in many activities for families or kids means that those are also planned around a school calendar (semester-long dance classes in afternoon or weekend hours only, for example). So, even as we’re living without school as best we can in our family life and home and relationships (and clearly there’s always more deschooling to do), it’s very much like always living on the time-table of school culture.
Wonderful post Fran - I'll look forward to reading part two. I'd also love to read more about this:
"When I say just live, I mean that my focus is on engaging with our life, with ideas, with people, and with place. That’s living to me. The children don’t always want to join me, but I model ways in which I live my life fiercely and fully, and I hope this will rub off."
Is it an implicit kind of modelling, as in just quietly doing it, or an explicit kind where you explain what you're doing and why?
I think both? I try to do it, but I also have ongoing convos about what life can look like, how I choose to show up, etc etc. And frankly if I worry my kids aren’t engaging with people and things around us I will say so - even while recognising that there are periods in life when we aren’t super willing to put ourselves out there in all the ways. Does that make sense?
Absolutely makes sense - thanks so much for clarifying! I think I do this as well, but sometimes it feels like me "living fully" can be in direct conflict to my child's preferences (for me to stay home with her) so sometimes I struggle to model it in a neutral way. It's definitely a work in progress anyway!
I’ve been unschooling/homeschooling for 8 years. My eldest did 4 years at school. He’s now back at school because he wanted to play music with others, study music as much as possible and be involved in school competitions (Rockquest, choir, productions etc). We also decided to at least try achieving some qualifications with expert teachers before pursuing online options ourselves as he doesn’t have a specific career plan to focus in on.
It has been extremely eye opening to get him up to speed for senior high school. He is failing maths and science, partly from insufficient preparation and partly through utterly boring and uninspiring subject content. He is achieving merit in history and health (I have a degree in history and nursing!)……he is passing English (just) and excelling in music.
We had 5 months of warning from when he started thinking about going, to when school started. We both actually enjoyed doing more structured learning (previously we did bits and pieces of interested based learning, a few online history courses, some online math a tiny bit of brave learner). We both regretted not doing more, earlier as the huge gaps became apparent. We used ‘learn maths fast system’ which was excellent but in 4-5 months we only got through 2.75 books. (I would recommend that and IXL to practice more from age 13.)
I have read widely on unschooling - all the big names, multiple books, lots of popular blogs etc. I think it is brilliant in theory. In practice, I really think authors and proponents need to give more attention to the real world application. It works brilliantly for young children and for families with lots of resources - not just financial, emotional/psychological resilience, strong family and friend support, a clear focus and drive in life.
But there are some major potential problems if you hit financial or health or other major life stresses. Pandemics, job insecurity, marriage stress, health problems and deaths in the family - immediate or extended can throw up constant or massive curve balls. All the while, sole responsibility is on your/your partners shoulders. Sole responsibility.
It is very easy for things to slide into coping mode. Into mediocrity. Into lack of focus and drifting. It is all too easy to focus on certain easy things and neglect major areas, and feel completely comfortable with that because ‘if they need it, we will catch up’. This assumes that there is time to do that. This assumes that a 16 yo won’t turn around one day and say “hey, I do want access to this course and why can’t I pass the test to access it? Why haven’t you been teaching me this stuff”. It is incredibly stressful and can be quite a wake up call!!! I’ve had it happen and am seeing it happen with others.
We have navigated it fairly well - adequately for what our teen needs (just), but luckily we had 5 months and sufficient resources to quickly buy materials, and even pay for tutoring (which we didn’t actually have time for). Not everyone will get that warning. Obviously there are often ‘other pathways’ to do things. But I was certainly taken back by how the rhetoric of ‘it will happen when the motivation hits’ was not the reality.
I totally believe that unschooling is the best way for the world to work. And we are still largely unschooling our younger child (who is 9). But the reality is the world doesn’t work like that (yet, hopefully). And we can not ‘throw the baby out with the bath water’ and assume they definitely will find what they need, when they need it. It’s QUITE a big gamble.
I have been saying to people, unless your household is firing on all cylinders - everyone is fully engaged in interesting and dynamic things - your kids are inventing things or trying new things constantly or running their own mini business (as per the ‘lovely’ blogs) - you do need to be continually mixing things up and keeping an active eye on all the things. I thought we were fine with tinkering - we did lots of reading aloud and history and talking endlessly and without a doubt my kid is interested and interesting and can discuss complex things. He plays multiple instruments, almost endlessly when not reading or watching movies or spending time with friends (usually online). Supposedly music really helps maths, it was all humming along……but you have to do at least a bit of the math to find out if it is in fact helping! 😂.
Going to school, with an unschooling mindset, has been a massive amount of life learning - I could write an even bigger novel than this one! Without a doubt, getting local connections in the community has opened up so much socially and practically and it feels like a massive weight is off my shoulders with the support now of some awesome teachers who are helping him reach some new goals (and it’s not even a ‘good’ school, just average, and not all teachers are awesome, of course).
The whole experience has certainly opened my eyes up. I’m getting increasingly concerned about the number of mums (and dads) I know whose kids are hitting older teenage years and are starting to realise that while the theory is wonderful, the practical application is not always as straight forward.
The reality is that the world is not as forward thinking as unschooling theory! Hopefully it will be, especially if we can push the barriers from outside AND inside the system. It is my belief we do need to keep one eye on where our kids are at. I keep saying to people if they HAD to go back, what would be the biggest academic problem for them - try to keep chipping away at some of that.
NB: full disclosure - I have a ton of privileges - I belong to the dominant culture of my country (New Zealand), we have an above average single income, married nearly 20 years, almost mortgage free, neurotypical family, only a few health problems, limited nearby family support and plenty of homeschool friends (mostly unschooling or eclectic) but geographically spread out, temperate climate - easy to get the kids active and outdoors. Often I find unschooling authors (in general, not this one in particular - I don’t follow closely enough) don’t always acknowledge their many privileges when stating that everyone can just drop out and do something very different.
Thanks for reading if you got this far. Just trying to offer some of my thoughts and experiences in case they help others through this beautiful lifestyle we are lucky to have with our children. Arohanui (with love), Steph
Stephanie thanks for saying this and i completely agree!! I don’t think unschooling is right for everyone, and I don’t think it’s a solution to schooling (hence the bit at the end of my essay where I hint that we need radical change of the school system). I don’t really advocate for home education because I recognise that it can be super hard and people do let things slip for all sorts of reasons and it can end up being harmful or negligent or all sorts of things. Unschooling is not a magic bullet. That said, I think you can divest from schooling culture in almost any setting, and that’s what I love about living as if the metrics of schooling did not exist. I have more to say on this but appreciate this conversation a lot! I also agree more of us need to be honest about the pitfalls of unschooling!
This is my goal more and more! Agree with all your points. Harder to do in a state with more regulations than most, and I often wonder if I would have an easier time deschooling if we lived in a state with no regulations.
Where are you again June? Agree that the regulations add a layer of stress to the whole thing, for sure. If only they’d regulate around physical and emotional safety rather than academic metrics 🙄
We are in Pennsylvania. It’s really not that bad (although it’s red on the HSLDA map), but high school has very specific credit requirements and I have to frequently remind myself that we can meet them creatively. My oldest who is starting high school next year knows the requirements and we discussed some ideas for how to meet them that align with her interests. She has no idea at the moment what she wants to do after high school.
We don’t have ongoing regulations where I live, but anyone can complain to the educational authority and they will probably check in - rarely happens and relatively easy to deal with - usually just need to document all the life learning happening. It would probably make it much much easier when they are young not to have to meet targets. Especially if they’ve been to school and need a big break to reignite their enthusiasm. I don’t think complete lack of oversight is always helpful though (I’ve written a novel about that below!) My kids are 15 and 9 and we’ve been unschooling for 7-8 years.
3/5 of my kids are PDA autistic (pathological demand avoidance), so this lifestyle choice has been pretty much a necessity for us. We go with their interests, and I do offer a ton of things. I do gently point out areas of struggle for them, and sometimes they choose to work on it, but most of the time they tell me I will work on it when I need to. We do talk about how if they ever want to go back to school they would need to do some catching up. My youngest wants to try school. We told her in first or second grade she can go. She is very persistent about asking. And honestly if she did go, it would be a little weight off my shoulders from thinking about just these things. Then again, American schools have some serious worries, including shootings soooo maybe I’ll trade one set of worries for another?
A lot of anarcho-capitalists are unschoolers, choosing peaceful parenting. They understand the word capitalist in it's historical sense, meaning the private ownership of means of production. In that sense it doesn't have this negative connotation of cronyism we understand nowadays.
In order to avoid the requirements of our local government for homeschoolers, we enroll in West River Academy (google if you might benefit from this as well) so that our kids are technically in a “private international online school”.
But as far as living life as though school doesn’t exist, for our family, the hardest part is a two-pronged issue with the calendar. First, many of our friends and loved ones are operating on a school schedule and thus we must plan our interactions with them around it. Second, our desires to participate in many activities for families or kids means that those are also planned around a school calendar (semester-long dance classes in afternoon or weekend hours only, for example). So, even as we’re living without school as best we can in our family life and home and relationships (and clearly there’s always more deschooling to do), it’s very much like always living on the time-table of school culture.
i hear you on the calendar issue!! the school calendar is basically embedded in society and everything operates based on it. it's tough to avoid!
Wonderful post Fran - I'll look forward to reading part two. I'd also love to read more about this:
"When I say just live, I mean that my focus is on engaging with our life, with ideas, with people, and with place. That’s living to me. The children don’t always want to join me, but I model ways in which I live my life fiercely and fully, and I hope this will rub off."
Is it an implicit kind of modelling, as in just quietly doing it, or an explicit kind where you explain what you're doing and why?
I think both? I try to do it, but I also have ongoing convos about what life can look like, how I choose to show up, etc etc. And frankly if I worry my kids aren’t engaging with people and things around us I will say so - even while recognising that there are periods in life when we aren’t super willing to put ourselves out there in all the ways. Does that make sense?
Absolutely makes sense - thanks so much for clarifying! I think I do this as well, but sometimes it feels like me "living fully" can be in direct conflict to my child's preferences (for me to stay home with her) so sometimes I struggle to model it in a neutral way. It's definitely a work in progress anyway!
Agree!!
I’ve been unschooling/homeschooling for 8 years. My eldest did 4 years at school. He’s now back at school because he wanted to play music with others, study music as much as possible and be involved in school competitions (Rockquest, choir, productions etc). We also decided to at least try achieving some qualifications with expert teachers before pursuing online options ourselves as he doesn’t have a specific career plan to focus in on.
It has been extremely eye opening to get him up to speed for senior high school. He is failing maths and science, partly from insufficient preparation and partly through utterly boring and uninspiring subject content. He is achieving merit in history and health (I have a degree in history and nursing!)……he is passing English (just) and excelling in music.
We had 5 months of warning from when he started thinking about going, to when school started. We both actually enjoyed doing more structured learning (previously we did bits and pieces of interested based learning, a few online history courses, some online math a tiny bit of brave learner). We both regretted not doing more, earlier as the huge gaps became apparent. We used ‘learn maths fast system’ which was excellent but in 4-5 months we only got through 2.75 books. (I would recommend that and IXL to practice more from age 13.)
I have read widely on unschooling - all the big names, multiple books, lots of popular blogs etc. I think it is brilliant in theory. In practice, I really think authors and proponents need to give more attention to the real world application. It works brilliantly for young children and for families with lots of resources - not just financial, emotional/psychological resilience, strong family and friend support, a clear focus and drive in life.
But there are some major potential problems if you hit financial or health or other major life stresses. Pandemics, job insecurity, marriage stress, health problems and deaths in the family - immediate or extended can throw up constant or massive curve balls. All the while, sole responsibility is on your/your partners shoulders. Sole responsibility.
It is very easy for things to slide into coping mode. Into mediocrity. Into lack of focus and drifting. It is all too easy to focus on certain easy things and neglect major areas, and feel completely comfortable with that because ‘if they need it, we will catch up’. This assumes that there is time to do that. This assumes that a 16 yo won’t turn around one day and say “hey, I do want access to this course and why can’t I pass the test to access it? Why haven’t you been teaching me this stuff”. It is incredibly stressful and can be quite a wake up call!!! I’ve had it happen and am seeing it happen with others.
We have navigated it fairly well - adequately for what our teen needs (just), but luckily we had 5 months and sufficient resources to quickly buy materials, and even pay for tutoring (which we didn’t actually have time for). Not everyone will get that warning. Obviously there are often ‘other pathways’ to do things. But I was certainly taken back by how the rhetoric of ‘it will happen when the motivation hits’ was not the reality.
I totally believe that unschooling is the best way for the world to work. And we are still largely unschooling our younger child (who is 9). But the reality is the world doesn’t work like that (yet, hopefully). And we can not ‘throw the baby out with the bath water’ and assume they definitely will find what they need, when they need it. It’s QUITE a big gamble.
I have been saying to people, unless your household is firing on all cylinders - everyone is fully engaged in interesting and dynamic things - your kids are inventing things or trying new things constantly or running their own mini business (as per the ‘lovely’ blogs) - you do need to be continually mixing things up and keeping an active eye on all the things. I thought we were fine with tinkering - we did lots of reading aloud and history and talking endlessly and without a doubt my kid is interested and interesting and can discuss complex things. He plays multiple instruments, almost endlessly when not reading or watching movies or spending time with friends (usually online). Supposedly music really helps maths, it was all humming along……but you have to do at least a bit of the math to find out if it is in fact helping! 😂.
Going to school, with an unschooling mindset, has been a massive amount of life learning - I could write an even bigger novel than this one! Without a doubt, getting local connections in the community has opened up so much socially and practically and it feels like a massive weight is off my shoulders with the support now of some awesome teachers who are helping him reach some new goals (and it’s not even a ‘good’ school, just average, and not all teachers are awesome, of course).
The whole experience has certainly opened my eyes up. I’m getting increasingly concerned about the number of mums (and dads) I know whose kids are hitting older teenage years and are starting to realise that while the theory is wonderful, the practical application is not always as straight forward.
The reality is that the world is not as forward thinking as unschooling theory! Hopefully it will be, especially if we can push the barriers from outside AND inside the system. It is my belief we do need to keep one eye on where our kids are at. I keep saying to people if they HAD to go back, what would be the biggest academic problem for them - try to keep chipping away at some of that.
NB: full disclosure - I have a ton of privileges - I belong to the dominant culture of my country (New Zealand), we have an above average single income, married nearly 20 years, almost mortgage free, neurotypical family, only a few health problems, limited nearby family support and plenty of homeschool friends (mostly unschooling or eclectic) but geographically spread out, temperate climate - easy to get the kids active and outdoors. Often I find unschooling authors (in general, not this one in particular - I don’t follow closely enough) don’t always acknowledge their many privileges when stating that everyone can just drop out and do something very different.
Thanks for reading if you got this far. Just trying to offer some of my thoughts and experiences in case they help others through this beautiful lifestyle we are lucky to have with our children. Arohanui (with love), Steph
Stephanie thanks for saying this and i completely agree!! I don’t think unschooling is right for everyone, and I don’t think it’s a solution to schooling (hence the bit at the end of my essay where I hint that we need radical change of the school system). I don’t really advocate for home education because I recognise that it can be super hard and people do let things slip for all sorts of reasons and it can end up being harmful or negligent or all sorts of things. Unschooling is not a magic bullet. That said, I think you can divest from schooling culture in almost any setting, and that’s what I love about living as if the metrics of schooling did not exist. I have more to say on this but appreciate this conversation a lot! I also agree more of us need to be honest about the pitfalls of unschooling!
This is my goal more and more! Agree with all your points. Harder to do in a state with more regulations than most, and I often wonder if I would have an easier time deschooling if we lived in a state with no regulations.
Where are you again June? Agree that the regulations add a layer of stress to the whole thing, for sure. If only they’d regulate around physical and emotional safety rather than academic metrics 🙄
We are in Pennsylvania. It’s really not that bad (although it’s red on the HSLDA map), but high school has very specific credit requirements and I have to frequently remind myself that we can meet them creatively. My oldest who is starting high school next year knows the requirements and we discussed some ideas for how to meet them that align with her interests. She has no idea at the moment what she wants to do after high school.
yeah i can imagine that requirements are challenging with PDA kids!!
We don’t have ongoing regulations where I live, but anyone can complain to the educational authority and they will probably check in - rarely happens and relatively easy to deal with - usually just need to document all the life learning happening. It would probably make it much much easier when they are young not to have to meet targets. Especially if they’ve been to school and need a big break to reignite their enthusiasm. I don’t think complete lack of oversight is always helpful though (I’ve written a novel about that below!) My kids are 15 and 9 and we’ve been unschooling for 7-8 years.
3/5 of my kids are PDA autistic (pathological demand avoidance), so this lifestyle choice has been pretty much a necessity for us. We go with their interests, and I do offer a ton of things. I do gently point out areas of struggle for them, and sometimes they choose to work on it, but most of the time they tell me I will work on it when I need to. We do talk about how if they ever want to go back to school they would need to do some catching up. My youngest wants to try school. We told her in first or second grade she can go. She is very persistent about asking. And honestly if she did go, it would be a little weight off my shoulders from thinking about just these things. Then again, American schools have some serious worries, including shootings soooo maybe I’ll trade one set of worries for another?