I loved all of this and felt so very heard!! I unschooled my kids, who are in undergrad and grad school now, and I felt so much of this in trying to square being very much a feminist and progressive thinker, while choosing to be home full time and educate my children which often was viewed as old fashioned or “wasting my talents” as I was told more than once. I appreciate that you put into words the reasons I felt like educating my kids was actually freeing, not only for them but for me as well.
"Staying home with our children and essentially forgoing what white feminism sees as the key to women’s independence, success and freedom, is automatically seen by mainstream culture as not feminist." Bingo. Thanks for this excellent piece and the discussion around this important topic.
I have been called some unsavory names by certain feminists -- especially academic ones -- over the years because of my early practice and long-term support for home education. As a result, I wrote a piece for one of our magazines in 2009 entitled "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Rocks the Boat - Unschooling as the ultimate feminist act." I think it might be time to refresh and share it.
Very thought-provoking, Fran! So many gems in here and will need to come back and reread. Would love to hear more about this topic at length either here or a podcast!
Fran, I loved this piece. It’s so well written and thought provoking. You and I agree on very little, and there are things I disagree with in this piece, but overall it really hits at the theme of not accepting the dominant narratives of our decisions or the easy framings of them as binary. Feminist / nonfeminist / schooling/not, etc. the one reflection I have is that I don’t understand why the idea of choices is one you seem to find problematic? I guess I cannot envision and world or a life where hard choices AREN’T part of the equation. They simply are. I agree that the fundamental strength AND flaw of capitalism is that it uses transactional value (money) as the arbiter of choice. But whatever system you choose, choice will be a part of it. There is no world however utopian where you get all the things. Of course I know you know that. This is actually where I see the issues with feminism most clearly. Because it takes a set of choices, and then says well the outcome of each choice is binary - feminist or not. While ignoring the interplay of the various choices and options themselves. Point being, we cannot escape choices in an environment where we are constrained by the concept of time and finite life span. I think successful homeschoolers like all successful people in any endeavour, are successful because they are fundamentally unconstrained by what society would tell them are the “best choices”
“You and I agree on very little” hehehe love you ♥️ and yes you are right that we can’t have it all, of course there are always choices. I wish the choices we had often felt like ones we had a hand in co-creating. I wish they were choices where we could truly see ourselves being held and safe no matter the option. Sometimes they feel like actually not a choice at all, but almost like being pushed into one thing. And I say this as someone who has probably had more actual choices than others.
This is a great piece. I think so much if this question is actually the question of, “are we alternatively school to reify current patriarchal (and white supremacist and capitalist) systems, or to turn away from them and create liberation-based alternatives.
“Schools – and society in general – treat children the way women don’t want to be treated. They don’t trust children to control their own lives, to keep themselves safe, and to make their own decisions. In this way, feminism and life learning are one and the same because they trust people to take the paths that suit them best.”
Wendy, in turn, quotes Susan Maushart…..
“Society needs to “acknowledge that bearing and raising children is not some pesky, peripheral activity we engage in, but the whole point.”
You've lit a fire in my belly Fran! This issue rages inside me. Homeschooling is anything but anti-feminist when electively chosen. It is in fact the ultimate liberation in my opinion from oppressive systems and structures that ultimately undermine us all, women, children & men.
So good, Fran! I have so many thoughts about all of this but still struggle to wrap my head around it. I’ve often felt inadequate because I don’t do paid work and choose to homeschool my kids. And I find a lot of white capitalist feminism seems to be about escaping the shackles of motherhood in order to be fully actualized. I’m so fascinated by all the conversations about this and I agree that much more of this should involve men and fathers.
I thoroughly enjoyed this robust conversation. It articulates so many of the things I haven’t been able to find words for. This is one to read with a highlighter in hand. Thank you for sparking so many thoughts.
We unschooled our children until a few months ago when we moved house so they could attend a self-directed democratic school. It was the only way I could make space for my own work. I have so many complex thoughts around this. Your piece has given me some perspective and a lot more questions!
What a strange twisted view that freedom or equality should be equated with the ability to earn an income....
I will be vulnerable for a moment here and admit that I've never felt a strong draw to the feminist movement. I always chalked it up to being non-binary and the trauma of trying to fit in as a woman for so many years, but I wonder if it's also tied to these capitalist infused views of how equality is supposed to play out in a capitalist society.
Intersectional or bust, right? Feminism has become the poster child for the importance of viewing oppression through multiple lenses.
Totally get it. I think the feminist movement has probably put many people off for this very reason, and more. But yeah - intersectional feminism is where it’s at!
I love this conversation! For me personally, I started homeschooling while I was in a borderline fundamentalist Christian context. The messaging was “staying home with your kids is the best, most godly thing you can do - homeschooling is even better.” So several years ago, I started to feel a bit…cheated? Trapped? I didn’t want to live paycheck to paycheck forever either (my husband had some career shifts related to being in and then out of Christian ministry). Starting my own business felt liberating if only because I was (silently) told not to, that it was the less godly choice to work. When you’re in that context, homeschooling can feel very anti-feminist, even though I can agree with your stance that it’s not. I wish we had more options, that public schools were democratic schools, etc. Alas, we must continue to work within the confines of our current realities.
Yes we must, ugh. Thank you for sharing this perspective June, it’s clear that the answer to this question is, “it depends,” and that there are definitely contexts where homeschooling can be profoundly inequitable.
Wow, this essay is fabulous, Fran. I'm impressed how you packed so much in, yet it is so very readable, and everything is highly relevant. This is a masterpiece. An essay to read again and again.
Homeschooling is not anti-feminist. Homeschooling in 2024 is a choice we make with great thought. Having babies is a choice we make with great thought and deliberation. Homeschooling is not one size fits all especially once we factor in Unschooling and the nature of made for 1 and only 1 individual. As a Techno-Unschooler with 3 unschooled kids/adults it is very pro-choice, pro-boundries, pro-me, pro-consent, pro-rest, pro-speak up and very anti-segregation that SCHOOL teaches in so many ways from boys can to girls cant, jock vs nerd, smart vs special ed. SCHOOL is just toxic and it always was since Rockefeller made it in their own image.
I loved all of this and felt so very heard!! I unschooled my kids, who are in undergrad and grad school now, and I felt so much of this in trying to square being very much a feminist and progressive thinker, while choosing to be home full time and educate my children which often was viewed as old fashioned or “wasting my talents” as I was told more than once. I appreciate that you put into words the reasons I felt like educating my kids was actually freeing, not only for them but for me as well.
Thank you for reading! I'm so glad it resonated with you and you saw yourself in this. I too, have grappled with all of what you mention above.
"Staying home with our children and essentially forgoing what white feminism sees as the key to women’s independence, success and freedom, is automatically seen by mainstream culture as not feminist." Bingo. Thanks for this excellent piece and the discussion around this important topic.
I have been called some unsavory names by certain feminists -- especially academic ones -- over the years because of my early practice and long-term support for home education. As a result, I wrote a piece for one of our magazines in 2009 entitled "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Rocks the Boat - Unschooling as the ultimate feminist act." I think it might be time to refresh and share it.
Yes please do!! I would love to read it.
Very thought-provoking, Fran! So many gems in here and will need to come back and reread. Would love to hear more about this topic at length either here or a podcast!
Fran, I loved this piece. It’s so well written and thought provoking. You and I agree on very little, and there are things I disagree with in this piece, but overall it really hits at the theme of not accepting the dominant narratives of our decisions or the easy framings of them as binary. Feminist / nonfeminist / schooling/not, etc. the one reflection I have is that I don’t understand why the idea of choices is one you seem to find problematic? I guess I cannot envision and world or a life where hard choices AREN’T part of the equation. They simply are. I agree that the fundamental strength AND flaw of capitalism is that it uses transactional value (money) as the arbiter of choice. But whatever system you choose, choice will be a part of it. There is no world however utopian where you get all the things. Of course I know you know that. This is actually where I see the issues with feminism most clearly. Because it takes a set of choices, and then says well the outcome of each choice is binary - feminist or not. While ignoring the interplay of the various choices and options themselves. Point being, we cannot escape choices in an environment where we are constrained by the concept of time and finite life span. I think successful homeschoolers like all successful people in any endeavour, are successful because they are fundamentally unconstrained by what society would tell them are the “best choices”
“You and I agree on very little” hehehe love you ♥️ and yes you are right that we can’t have it all, of course there are always choices. I wish the choices we had often felt like ones we had a hand in co-creating. I wish they were choices where we could truly see ourselves being held and safe no matter the option. Sometimes they feel like actually not a choice at all, but almost like being pushed into one thing. And I say this as someone who has probably had more actual choices than others.
This is a great piece. I think so much if this question is actually the question of, “are we alternatively school to reify current patriarchal (and white supremacist and capitalist) systems, or to turn away from them and create liberation-based alternatives.
Appreciate your work so much.
EXACTLY. Educating differently is not by definition liberatory!!
Quoting Wendy Prieznitz …..
“Schools – and society in general – treat children the way women don’t want to be treated. They don’t trust children to control their own lives, to keep themselves safe, and to make their own decisions. In this way, feminism and life learning are one and the same because they trust people to take the paths that suit them best.”
Wendy, in turn, quotes Susan Maushart…..
“Society needs to “acknowledge that bearing and raising children is not some pesky, peripheral activity we engage in, but the whole point.”
https://www.life.ca/lifelearning/0906/unschooling-is-feminist.htm?fbclid=IwAR1hXRWMc_vLTUcapuMDbrtIfj_QQO9G12WQgYq3Jl2xyL0j-wi1NTUnfmM_aem_AaVq_t8g97R80rnAHJdmU-spUEGaX6EP9laJJrCp7JFlUNSgjVFGVuHlxWzM9jhKcaI
I’m an advocate for Universal Basic Income as an important tool to deschool society.
Big fan of UBI! Thanks for sharing this beautiful quote x
You've lit a fire in my belly Fran! This issue rages inside me. Homeschooling is anything but anti-feminist when electively chosen. It is in fact the ultimate liberation in my opinion from oppressive systems and structures that ultimately undermine us all, women, children & men.
Such a great piece Fran, thank you. 🙌 I love reading everyone's comments on this one too.
Once again, you’ve expressed so well thoughts and tensions that I’m so often wrestling with. Thank you for doing this work!
So good, Fran! I have so many thoughts about all of this but still struggle to wrap my head around it. I’ve often felt inadequate because I don’t do paid work and choose to homeschool my kids. And I find a lot of white capitalist feminism seems to be about escaping the shackles of motherhood in order to be fully actualized. I’m so fascinated by all the conversations about this and I agree that much more of this should involve men and fathers.
I thoroughly enjoyed this robust conversation. It articulates so many of the things I haven’t been able to find words for. This is one to read with a highlighter in hand. Thank you for sparking so many thoughts.
We unschooled our children until a few months ago when we moved house so they could attend a self-directed democratic school. It was the only way I could make space for my own work. I have so many complex thoughts around this. Your piece has given me some perspective and a lot more questions!
Thank you
Thank you Bethany!!
What a strange twisted view that freedom or equality should be equated with the ability to earn an income....
I will be vulnerable for a moment here and admit that I've never felt a strong draw to the feminist movement. I always chalked it up to being non-binary and the trauma of trying to fit in as a woman for so many years, but I wonder if it's also tied to these capitalist infused views of how equality is supposed to play out in a capitalist society.
Intersectional or bust, right? Feminism has become the poster child for the importance of viewing oppression through multiple lenses.
Totally get it. I think the feminist movement has probably put many people off for this very reason, and more. But yeah - intersectional feminism is where it’s at!
I love this conversation! For me personally, I started homeschooling while I was in a borderline fundamentalist Christian context. The messaging was “staying home with your kids is the best, most godly thing you can do - homeschooling is even better.” So several years ago, I started to feel a bit…cheated? Trapped? I didn’t want to live paycheck to paycheck forever either (my husband had some career shifts related to being in and then out of Christian ministry). Starting my own business felt liberating if only because I was (silently) told not to, that it was the less godly choice to work. When you’re in that context, homeschooling can feel very anti-feminist, even though I can agree with your stance that it’s not. I wish we had more options, that public schools were democratic schools, etc. Alas, we must continue to work within the confines of our current realities.
Yes we must, ugh. Thank you for sharing this perspective June, it’s clear that the answer to this question is, “it depends,” and that there are definitely contexts where homeschooling can be profoundly inequitable.
Wow, this essay is fabulous, Fran. I'm impressed how you packed so much in, yet it is so very readable, and everything is highly relevant. This is a masterpiece. An essay to read again and again.
Thank you Antonio - there is a lot! And I always worry that what I write is too long and too dis-jointed so thank you for your feedback!!
Homeschooling is not anti-feminist. Homeschooling in 2024 is a choice we make with great thought. Having babies is a choice we make with great thought and deliberation. Homeschooling is not one size fits all especially once we factor in Unschooling and the nature of made for 1 and only 1 individual. As a Techno-Unschooler with 3 unschooled kids/adults it is very pro-choice, pro-boundries, pro-me, pro-consent, pro-rest, pro-speak up and very anti-segregation that SCHOOL teaches in so many ways from boys can to girls cant, jock vs nerd, smart vs special ed. SCHOOL is just toxic and it always was since Rockefeller made it in their own image.
Hey Danii, thanks for reading and I fundamentally agree with you!