Many thanks for the important conversation. Going back more than 30 years, here is what worked for us . I needed to entirely let go of the zero sum mentality that would have our children and myself in a selfish competition. I wanted my children to get what they wanted… they seemed happiest when I was happy as well. We were not on opposite sides but part of a creative endeavor to discover “common preferences” - solutions we could all be happy with. Self sacrifice is a harmful idea and, with enough creativity and bold suggestions , each of us could get what we wanted (and this next bit is essential) … or better! Wants are not fixed, creativity saves the day!:) it’s a practice that, IMO, surpasses the limitations of politics.
I appreciate this! I work part time and my daughter is in part time daycare. It's not perfect and I certainly wish she didn't have to go to daycare. However, I am grateful to be able to work at a job I enjoy and have days that I am at home focused on her. Our system is failing so many of us. I definitely don't know what the solution is...
My twenties were a time of battling the conditioned voice of 'not good enough because I didn't have a successful career' in my head and thoroughly enjoying being a stay-at-home home educating mumma.
I was and still feel disconnected from that vision and experience of collective care. I wanted it for my children but was unable to provide a scaffold on which it could grow, having not personally experienced it for myself, neither as a child or parent. And there were other things that got in the way and undermined intentions to move in that direction.
We need strong communities of carers. And not just online ones.
Many thanks for the important conversation. Going back more than 30 years, here is what worked for us . I needed to entirely let go of the zero sum mentality that would have our children and myself in a selfish competition. I wanted my children to get what they wanted… they seemed happiest when I was happy as well. We were not on opposite sides but part of a creative endeavor to discover “common preferences” - solutions we could all be happy with. Self sacrifice is a harmful idea and, with enough creativity and bold suggestions , each of us could get what we wanted (and this next bit is essential) … or better! Wants are not fixed, creativity saves the day!:) it’s a practice that, IMO, surpasses the limitations of politics.
I appreciate this! I work part time and my daughter is in part time daycare. It's not perfect and I certainly wish she didn't have to go to daycare. However, I am grateful to be able to work at a job I enjoy and have days that I am at home focused on her. Our system is failing so many of us. I definitely don't know what the solution is...
Thank you for this conversation.
My twenties were a time of battling the conditioned voice of 'not good enough because I didn't have a successful career' in my head and thoroughly enjoying being a stay-at-home home educating mumma.
I was and still feel disconnected from that vision and experience of collective care. I wanted it for my children but was unable to provide a scaffold on which it could grow, having not personally experienced it for myself, neither as a child or parent. And there were other things that got in the way and undermined intentions to move in that direction.
We need strong communities of carers. And not just online ones.