So this is very interesting. I guess where I stumble is - what is the role of wisdom here? The role of experience? I personally would feel relatively lost and have a more difficult time making decisions without the knowledge framework that was built (with ans without my consent) from the age of roughly 6-25 years old. I often encounter in my working life people whose education was less rigorous and complete than mine - whether in self care or in traditional mathematical / literary / scientific / historical education, and I see the huge gaps in their ability to solve problems and to work out solutions. So I’m not sure that hurling children into decision making and autonomy is really the answer - it might lead to short term pleasure but long term challenges? Ultimately when you are 30 and have 3 days to do a project for your job (the job that, say, provides you with sustenance etc) and you have no process to fall back on and thus fail, because you have travelled the narrow path of your interests all your life rather than being forced to sample lots of useless at the time stuff that comes in handy later - is this the end goal?
It’s challenging because I can see that short term happiness, calm, and enjoyment comes with autonomy and consent based parenting, but I’m not sure that it’s not my responsibility to build a broader base for my child, willingly or not. As in all things, I think there os a balance, because we can’t know the future, and present joy has value. But I also think there is value in building up a scaffolding of experiences that is broader than the thing that gives us joy only in the moment.
So this is very interesting. I guess where I stumble is - what is the role of wisdom here? The role of experience? I personally would feel relatively lost and have a more difficult time making decisions without the knowledge framework that was built (with ans without my consent) from the age of roughly 6-25 years old. I often encounter in my working life people whose education was less rigorous and complete than mine - whether in self care or in traditional mathematical / literary / scientific / historical education, and I see the huge gaps in their ability to solve problems and to work out solutions. So I’m not sure that hurling children into decision making and autonomy is really the answer - it might lead to short term pleasure but long term challenges? Ultimately when you are 30 and have 3 days to do a project for your job (the job that, say, provides you with sustenance etc) and you have no process to fall back on and thus fail, because you have travelled the narrow path of your interests all your life rather than being forced to sample lots of useless at the time stuff that comes in handy later - is this the end goal?
It’s challenging because I can see that short term happiness, calm, and enjoyment comes with autonomy and consent based parenting, but I’m not sure that it’s not my responsibility to build a broader base for my child, willingly or not. As in all things, I think there os a balance, because we can’t know the future, and present joy has value. But I also think there is value in building up a scaffolding of experiences that is broader than the thing that gives us joy only in the moment.