The question of where the boundaries lie in terms of sovereignity is indeed so interesting. For me it is when it impacts negatively on the collective, such that the individual is also impacted negatively. At the stage my children are at, I need to be able to look after things like cleaning in order to be able to look after them. So if toys being everywhere is getting in the way of that, then we need to find a solution that means we can have free play AND the house does not become a health-hazzard. Equally, if my time is taken up doing all the domestic work, then I will have no time to play with them, and they would like me to play with them. Ergo I think the wellbeing of the collective takes priority over individual sovereignty, but within that, ideally each would have as much sovereignty as possible, if that makes sense. What this looks like in practice will depend on the individual make-up of any group - the ages, abilities, interests, priorities etc - and as such there are no hard and fast rules.
Yes, totally agree with you. Where I have often struggled is with things that really don’t impact the collective either way, but may cause problem for my child down the road eg. Brushing teeth. Sure, perhaps this impacts the collective in the sense that dental care is time consuming and expensive, but in the moment the impact of not brushing isn’t really felt. And the impact of forcing them to brush feels very invasive of their sovereignty, right? Except we have always still insisted on it bc of the responsibility of care piece - also a tricky one because where does our responsibility of care begin and end?! But yeah - like you, I def lean more towards prioritising that our collective is well over one individual, I feel like this is healthy for us and altho it does cause conflict, conflict too is healthy and okay!
The question of where the boundaries lie in terms of sovereignity is indeed so interesting. For me it is when it impacts negatively on the collective, such that the individual is also impacted negatively. At the stage my children are at, I need to be able to look after things like cleaning in order to be able to look after them. So if toys being everywhere is getting in the way of that, then we need to find a solution that means we can have free play AND the house does not become a health-hazzard. Equally, if my time is taken up doing all the domestic work, then I will have no time to play with them, and they would like me to play with them. Ergo I think the wellbeing of the collective takes priority over individual sovereignty, but within that, ideally each would have as much sovereignty as possible, if that makes sense. What this looks like in practice will depend on the individual make-up of any group - the ages, abilities, interests, priorities etc - and as such there are no hard and fast rules.
Yes, totally agree with you. Where I have often struggled is with things that really don’t impact the collective either way, but may cause problem for my child down the road eg. Brushing teeth. Sure, perhaps this impacts the collective in the sense that dental care is time consuming and expensive, but in the moment the impact of not brushing isn’t really felt. And the impact of forcing them to brush feels very invasive of their sovereignty, right? Except we have always still insisted on it bc of the responsibility of care piece - also a tricky one because where does our responsibility of care begin and end?! But yeah - like you, I def lean more towards prioritising that our collective is well over one individual, I feel like this is healthy for us and altho it does cause conflict, conflict too is healthy and okay!