I just one day decided, I’M DONE! I deactivated my Instagram and Facebook accounts nearly two years ago, my son was 2.5. I haven’t looked back and it’s been amazing. Now I can see how childish all of it is and I’m repulsed by it.
Also this article reminds me of the naked baby that was the cover of a Nirvana album. I think as an adult that person has come out and expressed how he didn’t like that. I don’t know the full details but just heard of him being upset by it, understandably so.
Oh wow. I’ve been thinking of all the pictures of kids in stock photos like unsplash, that often get used on here. I refuse to use pics that show faces because who are these kids and do they know their images are being sold? Similar to the Nirvana example above. There are so many instances where it’s just not okay!
Thanks for this Fran. I made allll the mistakes with this when my son was younger. And I think it took me until he was about 5 to fully realise that this actually didn’t feel right for me. It was actually Eloise Rickman’s post on IG that inspired me to reflect on this more deeply… I Archived a load of old IG posts and then basically only ever shared the odd back of head shots & occasional face blurred ones. One of the big things for me was realising that I got tonnes more likes on posts that had my son’s face on. And then making the conscious decision that I never wanted to be in a position where I was using his face or details about his life to ‘sell.’ or gain likes or followers… To be really honest I actually feel quite nauseated- like a bit sick with anxiety - when I see other people share their children’s faces now. But that’s quite typical for me because I’m a very visceral person and a strong sign that something is wrong ‘in my gut’ is that it genuinely does turn my stomach! And I think it’s especially easy to read when people are very obviously and intentionally using their kids to ‘sell’ their brand and gain followers… could share so more but basically thanks for writing this and inspiring reflection. Because if I hadn’t read Eloise’s posts about all this a few years ago, I don’t think I could have reflected on it so seriously….so I hope this inspires others to do the same. Love, Jodi x
Yes I remember Eloise’s post!! And I hear your abut the ick I get when people share their kids faces or entire videos with their children online.. I’m sure some of them are wonderful and the kids are loved and having fun, but the potential for exploitation and coercion is so high when you’re doing it for likes and follows that it makes me uncomfortable.
This is such an important topic. I do not share photos of my child on social media for the twofold reason of consent and ownership. Once something is posted online, it is no longer yours. Even illegal content posted to the internet is incredibly difficult to have scrubbed from the web. I have serious concerns about AI generated imagery, deepfakes, and the many other ways that content can be manipulated and used without our consent, so I will not allow images of my child to be posted to social media. As she gets older we’ll have serious conversations as she explores and potentially wants to share images of herself online. Information and a true understanding of the implications are so vital.
As a creator, I’ve debated this a lot. My website has no faces, and I try to share less and less personal stories on the website these days. I was going to write a book, a memoir about how I got to unschooling but I put it on hold because a friend actually just unpublished a book that really helped me in my early unschooling days because her kids asked her to. With five kids, it’s a little easier to be more anonymous. Hearing people’s stories is how I learned in the early days, so it’s a constant struggle of how do I help people and respect my kids’ privacy. One way I do this is to share more personal things only to my email list (not substack) and use they/them pronouns. I also used to use Instagram double as a portfolio for our evaluator and to show people examples of what unschooling life looks like. I will likely transition that to a private Facebook group with just our evaluator and again, only share in my email list (no face photos or examples of things my kids are up to). It’s so so tricky too because my online work is what allows us to live this lifestyle and have the extras, like amusement park trips and vacations and to homeschool at all with me being home. Anyways, I’ve rambled enough. It’s complicated.
I recently mentioned to my now-9 year old that I never shared his face online, even when he was young, and he got SO UPSET that I had shared any pictures of him at all without his permission. Which is so valid! In retrospect, I do think I shared more than I should have, despite the strict boundaries I followed. Thank you for talking about this. It's so important.
Wow, that’s so interesting. And very valid! I would be super annoyed to find random pics of me online as a baby/child, that I had no idea were there. But also we just didn’t know when we posted! There was very little awareness in the beginning of social media.
Thank you for this, it feels timely. I have stopped sharing images of my kids online too, and even when I did it the pictures were usually taken from behind or the side so that their faces weren’t recognizable. But it got to a point where even this felt like too much. I too reached a point where I had serious questions about consent, and as talked more and more to them about their online safety, it seemed silly for ME to be putting pictures of them online. Thanks for writing this!
Yeah I feel that. If it’s my account it should be focused on my life/my interests, etc 🤷♀️ hard when they are intertwined with my children, but it can be done!
Thanks for sharing. I have been pondering the same thing over the last few days. I've just started posting on substack about my unschooling journey and it seems impossible to share my story without also sharing my daughter's, and sharing personal details of her life. I'm still undecided where the line is for my own writing going forward.
Your post was very timely, as I had been in the process of re-writing part of my next post because these exact thoughts. I think I've reached a balance I'm happy with.
We don’t share faces, I barely ever share names. We do this to protect their privacy and then from the online creepers.
I just one day decided, I’M DONE! I deactivated my Instagram and Facebook accounts nearly two years ago, my son was 2.5. I haven’t looked back and it’s been amazing. Now I can see how childish all of it is and I’m repulsed by it.
Also this article reminds me of the naked baby that was the cover of a Nirvana album. I think as an adult that person has come out and expressed how he didn’t like that. I don’t know the full details but just heard of him being upset by it, understandably so.
Oh wow. I’ve been thinking of all the pictures of kids in stock photos like unsplash, that often get used on here. I refuse to use pics that show faces because who are these kids and do they know their images are being sold? Similar to the Nirvana example above. There are so many instances where it’s just not okay!
Thanks for this Fran. I made allll the mistakes with this when my son was younger. And I think it took me until he was about 5 to fully realise that this actually didn’t feel right for me. It was actually Eloise Rickman’s post on IG that inspired me to reflect on this more deeply… I Archived a load of old IG posts and then basically only ever shared the odd back of head shots & occasional face blurred ones. One of the big things for me was realising that I got tonnes more likes on posts that had my son’s face on. And then making the conscious decision that I never wanted to be in a position where I was using his face or details about his life to ‘sell.’ or gain likes or followers… To be really honest I actually feel quite nauseated- like a bit sick with anxiety - when I see other people share their children’s faces now. But that’s quite typical for me because I’m a very visceral person and a strong sign that something is wrong ‘in my gut’ is that it genuinely does turn my stomach! And I think it’s especially easy to read when people are very obviously and intentionally using their kids to ‘sell’ their brand and gain followers… could share so more but basically thanks for writing this and inspiring reflection. Because if I hadn’t read Eloise’s posts about all this a few years ago, I don’t think I could have reflected on it so seriously….so I hope this inspires others to do the same. Love, Jodi x
Yes I remember Eloise’s post!! And I hear your abut the ick I get when people share their kids faces or entire videos with their children online.. I’m sure some of them are wonderful and the kids are loved and having fun, but the potential for exploitation and coercion is so high when you’re doing it for likes and follows that it makes me uncomfortable.
This is such an important topic. I do not share photos of my child on social media for the twofold reason of consent and ownership. Once something is posted online, it is no longer yours. Even illegal content posted to the internet is incredibly difficult to have scrubbed from the web. I have serious concerns about AI generated imagery, deepfakes, and the many other ways that content can be manipulated and used without our consent, so I will not allow images of my child to be posted to social media. As she gets older we’ll have serious conversations as she explores and potentially wants to share images of herself online. Information and a true understanding of the implications are so vital.
As a creator, I’ve debated this a lot. My website has no faces, and I try to share less and less personal stories on the website these days. I was going to write a book, a memoir about how I got to unschooling but I put it on hold because a friend actually just unpublished a book that really helped me in my early unschooling days because her kids asked her to. With five kids, it’s a little easier to be more anonymous. Hearing people’s stories is how I learned in the early days, so it’s a constant struggle of how do I help people and respect my kids’ privacy. One way I do this is to share more personal things only to my email list (not substack) and use they/them pronouns. I also used to use Instagram double as a portfolio for our evaluator and to show people examples of what unschooling life looks like. I will likely transition that to a private Facebook group with just our evaluator and again, only share in my email list (no face photos or examples of things my kids are up to). It’s so so tricky too because my online work is what allows us to live this lifestyle and have the extras, like amusement park trips and vacations and to homeschool at all with me being home. Anyways, I’ve rambled enough. It’s complicated.
Totally get it. It’s very tricky!
I should also note that I intentionally kept my primary website broad with multiple topics in order to reduce what I share about unschooling.
I recently mentioned to my now-9 year old that I never shared his face online, even when he was young, and he got SO UPSET that I had shared any pictures of him at all without his permission. Which is so valid! In retrospect, I do think I shared more than I should have, despite the strict boundaries I followed. Thank you for talking about this. It's so important.
Wow, that’s so interesting. And very valid! I would be super annoyed to find random pics of me online as a baby/child, that I had no idea were there. But also we just didn’t know when we posted! There was very little awareness in the beginning of social media.
Thank you for this, it feels timely. I have stopped sharing images of my kids online too, and even when I did it the pictures were usually taken from behind or the side so that their faces weren’t recognizable. But it got to a point where even this felt like too much. I too reached a point where I had serious questions about consent, and as talked more and more to them about their online safety, it seemed silly for ME to be putting pictures of them online. Thanks for writing this!
Yeah I feel that. If it’s my account it should be focused on my life/my interests, etc 🤷♀️ hard when they are intertwined with my children, but it can be done!
Thanks for sharing. I have been pondering the same thing over the last few days. I've just started posting on substack about my unschooling journey and it seems impossible to share my story without also sharing my daughter's, and sharing personal details of her life. I'm still undecided where the line is for my own writing going forward.
It’s so so challenging and I’m right there with you, always questioning and reconsidering if what I’m sharing is okay.
Your post was very timely, as I had been in the process of re-writing part of my next post because these exact thoughts. I think I've reached a balance I'm happy with.